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kristen || loving fool and fairy friend

September 9th     9:52 pm

"i want to be your blowjob queen" -liz phair -me

September 9th     9:44 pm

"The present is shaped by the past." WELCOME 2 ACADEMIA

September 7th     8:49 pm

in our weekly phone conversation my dad asked me again if i have a boyfriend. when i said no, he said, “why? are you picky?” responded, “i don’t know.” thought of making up a boyfriend, who kevin suggested i call benjamin. make up stories of all the fun times i have with benjamin. then started imagining if instead i just told my dad the truth.

"no, i don’t have a boyfriend. i really like someone and we have hooked up a couple of times but he says he does not want a committed relationship right now"

"there is a person i like but i am too shy to talk to, so i just stare at them whenever i see them"

"i hooked up with someone but then he felt weird about it because he was actually pretty gay"

"it was hard for me to be interested in people for a long time because i kept comparing them to the last person i was in love with"

"i went on an okcupid date and the person was nice but then i had a panic attack and realized i only wanted to be friends with them"

"dad, do you know what ‘queer’ means?"

August 30th     5:58 pm



August 25th     4:28 pm

i think i would be a lot less resentful of school if i could just teleport to and from class and didn’t have to commute in the same space as thousands of students who somehow don’t seem to understand that bike lanes are for bikes and not people or brush shoulders with a bro walking on the wrong side of the stairway who is talking about what a “slut” some girl is

August 18th     1:38 pm

//bleak// (at Third Street Park)

//bleak// (at Third Street Park)

August 16th     2:08 pm

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no one will save you your death will go largely unnoticed inherent meaning does not exist enjoy a ginger beer

it becomes increasingly difficult to communicate w the ones you love new iphone 11 w difficult emotion direct transfer

desire constantly re-transcribes itself across your failing body nothing feels real you will be forgotten capture it with kroger disposable camera

god is dead science is comatose earth will go on without you find your new luxury dark matter flat in messier 83 galaxy today *free utilities*

you have come to realize most objects of creation are feeble attempts to satiate an ego machine your thoughts are misled your heart is choked by capital it’s about goddamn time you had a bag of salt & malt vinegar chips

all or most interactions are informed or in relation to capital / use value only your dogs love you unconditionally it is all circumstance it is not circumstantial at all perk up w a locally roasted cold brew buddy

August 10th     10:55 am

august always feels like a lot of endings and beginnings

i remember moving into this apartment one year ago, sitting on the kitchen counter eating oatmeal left by the previous tenant

that oatmeal sat in our kitchen all year and yesterday i threw it away

i remember eating oatmeal while listening to a lot of elliott smith because you told me to, and how i couldn’t finish eating because my stomach was full with despair

and how i felt stranded between that insurmountable despair and some vague but extreme hopefulness

and falling in love with the family upstairs before i realized the husband was abusive, and feeling a sharp pang in my chest every time i heard him singing with his wife or playing guitar for his baby

and watching the moon from my window

and waking up to the sound of the baby crying

and thinking about the progression of life and pain

and the time the sun rose and you were there

since then hundreds of suns have risen

and today i am moving to a new house.

August 6th     9:31 pm

things that are disgusting:

1. the quantity of nachos i just ate

2. how much i like this video

August 4th     10:03 pm

“ When two people part it is the one who is not in love who makes the tender speeches. ”

— Marcel Proust